Happy Bithday Little Man!!

exactly 1 year ago today......

I woke up thinking oh my goodness Mr Tyus is never going to come out and as of 3 days before this they were weighing him in at 9 lbs 10 oz.. I thought seriously my due date was still 2 1/2 weeks away... Think Heaven My Doctor was smart enough to tell me that I was going to have to have a c-section and that I would be getting a scheduled c-section on the 19th for the fact that Mr. Tyus was already a big guy and I would end up with a 12 lb child if I waited till my due date.. and with High blood pressure.. starting to lose feeling in my legs... etc... I was so excited... So any way.. I woke up irritated that I was still big fat and carrying around a bowling ball and was still tech on bedrest.. (doctor didn't want me to go into labor on my own) but I was stir crazy and I wanted to have a great day with Tash.. Thinking this could be the last chance we had a Mommy/Tash day out for awhile! So we went to toysrus... then to Hobby Lobby got TONS of xmas crafts.. Went to Lakeview Muesum... Had us some nice warm startbucks... then went home to do crafts!! Perfect day!! I was tired but felt the same.. big fat and preggers and barely fitting behind the wheel to drive! So I went to supper (not saying where b/c I'm doing a contest) with a friend and Tash! (randy was at a Bradley Game) I started telling her that my back was hurting so bad!! Ended up not eating any of my food.. Went to the bathroom during our time together and sure enough... I was having a little bit of bleeding.. So I left with Tash and drove myself to the hospital.. yes drove myself.. Making Tash sing to me the entire way.. Called Randy to tell him to meet me there.. Called my mother to tell her to meet me there.. Called Randy's mom to tell her to come get Tash.. And thankfully I made it b/c it seemed to be the longest drive of my life!!!! WOWSERS!! So we get there I'm hooked up on the monitors and they check me.. at a 2.. Watched me for a hour.. showed no contractions.. Told me that my doctor said he wanted to keep me and that most likely I would have my csection the next day but wanted to watch so I didn't go into labor.. I said seriously this is hurting really bad.. Doctor on call said oh its braxton hicks.. I said okay.. kept laying there.. Doctor left came back and said Your ob wants me to check you again before he decides weither or not he needs to come in.. I was at a 5! Okay.. so bottom line.. I ended up with the csection that night.. I was so nervous about it and asked them if I could pee before hand and Randy was standing right outside the door when I went in and when I came out he was gone.. I lost it.. Thankfully he was waiting for me down by the room and couldn't come in untill they were all ready to cut.. But they still let me stop and let him give me a hug and kiss! I remember that it was so intimidating the entire time.. Between being completely naked in front of a staff of like 10+ people just ready to rip me open and take out my child.. Totally different feel then when I had Tash.. I instantly had the biggest head ache.. I am okay the whole not pushing thing was kind of nice.. But again… That’s the whole fun of having children in my eyes! Call me crazy! Lol…. So at 11:28 out popped our Beautiful Baby Boy!! Weighing in at…. Oh another contest question.. Hehehe!! He was so stinking chubby!! I didn’t get to hold him yet only touch him.. He grabbed my finger and had the tightest grip ever!! Oh I can’t believe I have my beautiful son!!! FINALLY!! With 2 miscarriage before and almost losing him like a hundred times.. Being on bedrest for over 6 out of the 9 months.. If not more!! From having to get a shot 1 a week in my butt… to checking my blood sugars daily and taking insulin 3x a day… The work had finally paid off… Then I’m told he has to be kept in the nursery b/c he can’t keep his body heat up and his sugars are to low.. Boo.. Oh well I will get to see him.. Now just have to get these leggs working and epideral to ware off so I can go hold my baby boy… Wrong.. At about I believe 2 or 3 am my Sister, Mom, & Randy decide its time to head out and go home and get some rest.. My sister noticed that I was blooding and told me I should tell the nurse.. I said.. Lisa I just had a baby.. Its normal.. I feel good and nothing to worry about.. Well on there way out she decided to tell a nurse to check on it.. Pretty thankful she did b/c I started hemorrhaging out.. I remember telling the nurse that I was fine.. I felt great… I remember a tons of nurses being called in.. That the big button above your head at the hospital that is only pulled on tv… Yeah that was pulled doctors were called.. I remember all of a sudden I wanted to throw up.. I remember I couldn’t keep my eyes open and that I was just getting yelled at… You know that feeling in your head where everyone talking just feels like echos… not real words…. Black.. Yep.. Black.. So I took a nice nap… I work to both my arms being pulled and blood everywhere! Gross.. Hearing Nurses yelling my name… and seeing a big long needling being stuck in my leg.. Thankfully I felt nothing.. Then I started feeling better and coming to.. Ended up having to have 2 blood transfusions… and was not aloud to get out of bed till my levels were up.. Poor Ty was not able to come see me and I was not able to come see him.. Finally at about 8pm on the 17^th my levels were better and I could go in and see him.. I remember the 1^st time I held him it was perfect!! He was the most beautiful chubby boy I have ever seen!! I remember looking around the nursery and not one of those babies were even close to Ty’s size.. I saw tiny babies having to take carseat tests b/c they were so tiny.. But here my big chubs in my arms he was the perfect size!! He was able to come see me the next morning.. I was so happy to be able to have him with me!! My OB said that there is only like a 5% chance of hemorrhaging with a c-section.. And that he had given me medicine that actually prevents it more during my c-section.. So he said that that actually happened is extremely rare.. He likes it call those cases a Cecilia and 1! This year with Ty has been a whirlwind of a year.. We have gone through tons to have him here with us!! I can’t explain how much he means to Randy, Tasha, & I! I love how protected Tash is of him.. I love how much he just adores her! How he goes to her door in the morning and knocks on it to wake her up.. How he giggles at her when ever she gets near him..I love how much he is thrilled when Daddy get homes.. How he goes to the window and just stairs at him.. I love how Daddy is his best buddy.. That Randy can’t wake in a room where Ty is without having to pick him up!! I love that through this entire year of ups and downs that our family has stayed strong and have never fallen apart! This year from birth to 1 year of age.. Ty has been in the hospital a total of 76 days, has about a million different test done on him, 2 surgerys, 1 cold, about 1 million throw ups/spit ups, gone with about a hundred outfit changes each week, probably 3 rash out brakes each week… about 6 bed changes each week due to throwing up of peeing through his diaper due to his feeding tube.. Gone through 12 different kinds of formula! Yeah.. I could seriously go on!! But the bottom line is I honestly it has all been worth it!! We have our CushCush pefect family!! We annoy each other and some days I wish I had a closet to hide in.. But in the end I LOVE my life! I love that a year ago today God gave us our Tyus >>>>>>> Cushman!! Another contest question.. Lol! J

Ty

I decided to word vomit! These are my feelings.. My thoughts and emotions. The last 39 days have been crazy... I have had many emotions through it all and couldn't ever really seem to take the time and just vent out how I really feel... So I decided to do it!


So I find that I have been posting little by little regarding Ty on facebook. Some days I feel like I write a ton and others very little.. I guess it depends on my mood and how much energy I actually have left in me! As I sit here on night 39 alone with Ty who just now falling back asleep. I sit here wishing I was home laying in bed next to my husband and thinking how great it would be if I woke up at home and ask him to get up with Ty b/c I'm to tired. How it seems like forever ago! I can recall his 1st night home.. I can still recall Tasha's 1st time home.. Both were so different and yet both had the same magical feeling! Feeling of love, joy, and excitement! It stinks b/c I can not recall the last night I slept in my bed! Or the last thing I cooked at home! I guess our minds are designed to recall werid crazy moments and yet forget others! Like child birth!! I mean we don't really totally forget but yet we can't recall it enough that here comes baby 2 and on my thats a lot of pain... why in the world did I do this... I can't take the pain this is incredible... yet baby 3 comes out. God's way of designing our brain to forget! Its amazing how I have changed myself in 39 days.. I use to be a very needy person.. Relied on Randy for everything. I use to have anixety of being alone. I have yet to stay at our house alone over night but yet I can survive 39 days in a hospital with Ty! Amazing what you are willing to change when it comes to your children. I mean yes I do still feel like there are aspects of me that need to grow up so to say.. but don't we all have a little childness in us here and there. I see that after 39 days I can do so much on my own.... But honestly... I don't want to. I want to have Randy as the person that makes it all better.. That can walk into the room and calm my heart and mind. That always makes me feel that no matter how small or how large our problem is.... it will always be fixable.. Weither we like it or not... that there is always a way we can look at the situation and seek something positive out of it.. even when you would rather just throw your hands up and just give up... But then seriously... whats the point of living. God throws something at you b/c he knows that you can handle it!!! Knows that it may take time but in the end if you trust in him and let him guide you with his hands it is possible!! I'm so tired and worn out and yet I aske him every night and morning to grant me another day of strength, courage, and understanding.. I realize that we will never have final answers b/c only the lord is a step ahead of us! But we can have peace with Trusting in him and letting him guide us! Though all of this I have never doubted our God.. But pulled him closer and held on tighter.. I have never questioned him and asked him why, in a way that most would.. Instead I try my hardest to thank him. Thank him for trusting that I can handle it. Thank him for believing that I can do it! I look at Tyus and think about what his name means... A Gift from God. I think how fitting it is.. I think of Natasha and think about what her name means.... birthday. Naming my children neither of them did I ever even look to see what the name means till after the fact.. When the birth certificate was signed. So I think of my children and I think of the meaning of there names and its so incredible on how fitting both of there names mean.. Tyus is so much a gift from God to us! We had such a hard time through out my pregnancy and there were times I seriously thought it just wasn't going to happen. After my miscarriages I never felt like it was real until I got to hold him for the 1st time. Tasha... I think of what a birthday is and what it means to me... A party... balloons, streamers, laughter and smiles.. That is my Tasha! A party! Anyone who has ever met her will say that she is a light! A joy! Someone that has this way of just making you smile and giggle!! Then I do think of my name and it means Blind... I guess you could read into that in a lot of different ways.. I read it as Blind... I think I have grown up to lose sight in things that could bring me down... I feel I am one who can let a lot go... Blink and its gone... Turn a blind eye... I try though I will be the 1st to say I do fail... but try to be blind to the hurt and focus on the love! I know everything is not always roses and sunshine... But I also know that crying and fussing about it isn't going to change it at all! Won't make it better to throw a fit about it. I have lasted 39 days b/c I except the things I cant change and changed the things I can. Like my outlook on it. I got to have 39 days to get to know Ty! I got to have 39 days to appricate the things I have outside this hospital! You tend to take things for granted.. My husband.. My bed.. My front door! The thing that is the hardest is being away from Tash so much! It breaks my heart and causes me the most pain! I try to juggle it all and have told myself on many occations that I need to step away and spend time with her and yet I can't leave Ty here... And when to her that we are leaving and she starts freaking out and crying and I ask her why.... Her reply... "mommy you can't leave Ty.. He would be so scared.. so alone.. he needs mommy right now.. you come home when he does. I can see you here! I think of that and I sit here and I cry to God on how incredible it is to have the opportunity to have one of the sweetest loving and understanding Child! Why did I do to get such a blessing from the lord! I praise the lord for my little family many times of day. As the tests are coming to an end and am told that they are to the end of what they can do.. I am not scared.. I am not nervous.. I do know we will figure it out.. Weither its now or later.. I do know that the most important thing to Randy and I is just taking him home.. Weither we find out that he is just going to be a peanut who can barely eat anything b/c he is allergic to it all... or to find that he has something that will affect his life and the way we live for the rest of our lives... He is our Ty.. Nothing has changed.. Nothing will change.. He is our Little Man.. Our TyTy.. Our Tyus! We will never know how long we have or how long our loved ones have here. Only God knows that! So each and everyday I get with the loves of my lives are treasures..

BLUE DOT CHILDREN'S CONTEST WINNERS!

Congratulations BABY KENDYL!!
1st Place Winner!!!!
Free 11 x 14 on foam core

2nd Place Winner/ AKA Cutest Baby

Set of 25 5x7 1 side Picture Cards w/ envelops

3rd Prize Winner/ AKA Mr. Future Heartbreaker

8x10 Collage Print on Foam Core (4 pictures)

4rd Place Winner/ AKA Most Unique

Set of 25 4x6 photo cards w/ envelops

5th Prize Winner AKA Miss Little Angelica
8x10 collage (4 pictures included)

All other Contestants will recieve a 5x7 print for participating in Photo Contest!!! Thank you all!! This was a really fun contest!! Can't wait for the next one! :)

New Mini Session!!

A little stroll in the park looking for bugs!!

Enjoying a spaghetti fight!!

Ages 0-2 Inside Portraits. $65 sitting fee appox 15 proofs on cd with signed release form. 30 mins sessions.. Spaghetti time, t-p fights, Baby Bake Off, Cheerios with a little milk, Baby Laundry, etc.. Decorate your home with a little bit of magic! Have a moment of your child’s personality and uniqueness to your walls! One of a kind portraits that are fun for you and your child!

Older kids 2 and older... Outside portraits $65 sitting fee appox 15 proofs on cd with signed release form. 30 min sessions...... Finger painting, sidewalk chalk, bubbles, bicycles, swinging, etc.. Capture those timeless memories, moments and personality of your children! We will follow you little one around and capture them being them!

We are open to any and all ideas! ;)

I eat you up I LOVE YOU SO!!

I recently did a 2 year old photoshoot!! Max!! How describe Max... All boy! He was very entergetic! Was always on the go! He reminded me of Max in Where the Wild Things Are! Which is still my favorite children's book! He was all about the bad guys! I LOVED it!! I couldn't stop smiling!! ;) He was yes very entergetic but one of the sweetest little boys! He was all about finding the bugs and the spiders! I loved getting the pleasure of following him around and capturing him being him! :) Couldn't have asked for a better day and I think the pictures really turned out terrific!! Thanks Max hope you have a terrific 2nd bday! :)

Family Art!

I will say I treasure my pictures a ton! Each one that we get printed has so much meaning behind it. There is always a story behind each shot! Weither its a posed one to one that no one was even aware that it had been taken! I have said it before and I will say it again... I love being behind the camera and HATE being in front of a camera! As most people I have a hard time looking at a picture of myself and saying OMG... I look fantastic! Though I see other pictures of people and think OMG... They look fantastic and they may look at it like seriously.... UGH... I hate how I look... So I guess its a extremly great lesson to always take the time to get infront of the camera and understand what others go through! I'm one that even though I may not like myself in pictures... down the line my children are going to adore them!! Heaven forbid something happen to me.. I want my kids to have tons of pictures of us together! To see what there Momma looked like!! Something that they will always be able to treasure for years to come!! I love the saying a picture says a thousand words.... To me its true... A picture can say soo much!! They way you get a picture printed can say so much more also.. You can take a picture make it into a 4x6 ratio and sure its adorable but you can turn it into say a 10x20 and it can turn into so much more!! Though even us as photographers have an extremely hard time shelling out money to get pictures printed... its so worth it! We recently got some pictures printed and we hung them up yesterday! It was amazing the difference I feel it has made our living room.. Amazing how sizes can just pop out more!!


Family Pictures 16x20 and 3- 10x10's



More pictures and my coffee table books! Just ordered 2 more!! :)


10x10's- Doing different sizes helps the pictures stick out more! Loving the Standout Boards! Really makes the picture pop more and makes them look like they are floating!






Coffee Table books are a big plus in my eyes!! I do a yearly one for each of our children and also for our trips we take! We really enjoy grabbing one and looking through them now and then and they really capture all of our treasured moments we get to have with each other!!


My hall way photos!! 2- 5x7's & a 8x10 both on foam core!

April Special!

So I was just telling Randy for I don't know the 100th time that we really need to get our family pictures done. The one in our living room a month after Tyus was born just didn't cut it! Being the one behind the camera I never end up getting pictures of me with the kiddos! I mean those fun little snap shots with my point and shoot are cute and all, but come on... I can't blow that up to anything more then a 4x6! I may not alway like the way I look but I also know that I love looking back to old pictures of when Tash was 1 and me holding her and her giving me big kisses!! They melt my heart every time!!! So I decided that for the month of April we are going to run a fun Mommy special!! Since May is in my eyes... The Month of the Mommy's!! We are offering mini sessions. A 30 min. session of Mommy's with thier Babies! You will get appox 10 poses of you and your little one/ones on a cd for $55! These shots are shots of you interacting with you little one/ones.. Laughing, smiling, hugs and kisses, toes and hands, tickles, etc... not just you looking at the camera and saying cheese! The moments that always make your hearts melt and you smile just get a little bigger!!

Hey Daddies... A very nice Mother's Day gift!!

Call or email us and make an appointment!! randy@bluedotphotography.com or 309-224-9386

EXPRESSION! EMOTION! UNIQUENESS!

Got our new website template up and running. Will say I'm loving it! Really opens us up more. Gives us the opportunity to add more samples of our work! Expand our creativity a little more out there! As we have always stated we are always open to our clients to give us any critics. Weither good or bad! We accept it with open arms! One thing I couldn't change or delete on the website is the testimonals. I tried... But since I can't if anyone would love to write a little about us and don't mind if I quote you, we would really appriciate it! ;)

The last couple of weeks our family has been sick. We finally get over one thing and then on to something else. Thankfully we have been able to just stay at home and relax! But having a 3 month old and a 4 year old sick hasn't been the easiest! When you are sick and still having to get up at 3am.. Makes your body hurt worse! So I'm hoping that the kiddos get over this a lot faster then we do so they sleep a little better at night! That way we all can get better and enjoy this nice weather that has been coming our way! May not be 70's but I'll take the upper 50's to 60's any day!

We are super excited about getting out there and starting up Outside Portraits again! (Family, Engagements, Children, Seniors) We have really made some great goals for ourselves this year and excited to start to pushing our new motto!! EXPRESSION, EMOTION, UNIQUENESS!!

So many Changes!!

I honestly will say I have totally forgotten about this whole Blog thing! I have noticed a lot of photographers have been doing blogging and realized its a great way for our clients to see a little more inside our lives and for us to express some of our work and our life as well! Over the last year a lot has changed! From going onto bedrest for 6 months to getting the greatest reward from bedrest! A beautiful baby Boy!! Tyus William!! We are so thankful for our little bundle of joy! Our little family is now complete!! With maybe a gold fish or a pet rock in our future! lol!! Whatever doesn't involve waking up in the middle of the night! We are finally getting into a routine and though it was a little adjustment having 2 kids instead of 1! It has honestly been so rewarding in so many ways!! One being that not only do I have a great little girl model but I now have a little boy one as well!! As my little man grows I get to expierence ever aspect of photographing each stage of life! So it helps me to learn what works with what age! This year has been the 1st year we have actually reached out to do newborn/infant portraits! I have always had a passion for children photography but never really put forth the effort to see what I could make of it! I see so many phenomenal children photographers out there and hope one day to be able to do half as great work as they do!

I'm really excited for our weddings this year! Though the 1st one of the year I ended up staying home with the stomach flu! This year is the year we are really going to try and step more out of the box and capture some unquiness and make more expression and feeling come out of our work! We are really excited for July! We will be doing a wedding down in Cancun! Can't wait to see the incredible shots we are able to capture while we are there!!

Our Little Man~ Tyus @ 3 months

Our Daughter Tasha! Just a month shy of 4!